Oct 4th '10

i dropped some crumbs of banana bread on the floor and was genuinely shocked to notice how much they resembled some spotty stains on the carpet not far away.

sometimes do you ever feel so completely insane that you must be the only person of reason on the face of the planet?

sometimes do you ever feel so infant and so elderly at the same time you forget how old you are? what day it is? what year it is?

so weak and so strong and many many polar opposites all at once you lose track of where you begin and where literally everything else ends?

suddenly realizing you've been staring at carpet stains and bread crumbs without blinking for prolly the better part of a full minute.

everything is temporary

a moment is as slight as it is infinite

so id say all that i want is to be happy

but really

sometimes i genuinely enjoy being sad

id say all that i want to be, is to be

but nothing lasts forever, and everyone dies

i blink

and look away from the now twice dirtied floor

i laugh because banana bread crumbs just made me figure that i was never born

the sound of my laughter will never fade

does that mean that every sound ever is just compiling on top of one another

if so why does it not get harder to hear eachother

or does that just mean that nothing exists as easily as it does...

i laugh again as i realize that my clock reads 5pm

i could swear ive been awake since noon

but still im lying naked under my covers and have hardly moved

sometimes its really hard to even get out of bed

sometimes its really hard to get myself to go to sleep ... ... ...