Sept. 25th '10

I get high like toad vemon's a joke

licking the sweat off my own body

is a half tab away from a gooping out

in the empty streets kind of dose

heavy heat but not haughty

I slip into a hole like dude I need a rope

sharp tongued but not haunted

soft hands like I'm the doctor

not bothered enough to look

at the size of the dose

I just shot needle poke into your arm I switch your

intravenous with mine grin in time with the harm

cuz the cleanest is the fullest harvest fuck the farm

fuck the hick-a-daisy daughter fuck the mother

hell you can fuck the farmer if that whatcha into

really it don't matter cuz I crop the cream onto platter

I said a horn of plenty / not many / so that sad face

that you keep making just keeps on looking sadder

yea I burn what's left to the ground just to spite you

matchstick nothingness ash whispers from the cinders

I fly away on a magic golden winged jacob's ladder

with a v.i.p. toting shorty who claims her name is vishnu

now you ain't looking so sad / just pissed off and bitter

wait wasn't vishnu a dude? whatever

I suppose I could ask her later

when she's bringing me breakfast in bed

coffee and a cigarette and a little bit of head

I ask her to bring me the morning paper

that I ain't even gonna read I just like to see

her reach down / and bend over

if that ass were a pulled taut bedspread

I swear I could four foot bounce a quarter

catch it between my teeth

maybe I use it to call her mother

but I think wait a minute

where am I spending my time?

phone held 'til I drop it

pocket that nickel deus a dime

rub 'em 'til they shine

not a loosey that I'm taking

cuz me I got mine

visualize a sack full of 'em

not a fear to a billion of 'em

filling every crevice with 'em

the space between

the front of my teeth

and the back of my grill

is stuffed rich with 'em

first comes the rhymes

follow with the prosperity I manifest

motherfucker I materialize

check the emeralds that are growing out my chest

Namaste

Through experience our spectrum of ability to comprehend the infinite shades of grey expands and complexifies but is never complete.

To realize that we can manifest to realize that we want to manifest to realize what it takes to manifest to realize we have what it takes to manifest to realize that we are manifesting.

All of these stages are present and engaged in all that we do. But just like the waves crashing off the coast, we rise and fall to the tune of a million different influences. Waxing and waning the light of our own perception across the infinite faceted jewel in the hopes that we may see the flaws and perfections of all that we can first hand and in witnessing these flaws and perfections we come to see that all we are seeing is a part of ourselves we never knew existed. And we are brought to our knees before the honest faces of the absolute violence and beauty that make up our very souls. Alone and vulnerable, stripped naked and bare and incapable of hiding anything even from myself, I realize that I am still alive. I am naked and cold and forever grateful to just still be alive. I have nothing to give but myself, so I give it. and in knowing that I am alive with so little thought, I am so tiny, I am so humbled that I can find nothing to ask for but myself. Give me myself, so that I may give of myself. Recognizing every moment as a blessing continually birthing me a new into the clear and present now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBeKgoqVopk&feature=related

Say what SOTA

I slink vibrant slick

without the instrumental

guitar no pick I lift a brick

and spit it to the crickets

so sota never stay a capella

and if this grin seem stuck

it's cuz this bucket of swag

shit, the bitch don't rust

layer of paint

after layer after layer

a graff artist's gruff

ain't no need to pay her

a poet's tin of snuff

know I'll hit ya back later

cuz right now

we're getting high in the back room

down low in the dark room

soaking up the vapors

so one sec decks

please pull back on the faders

easy up on the speakers

enough to fill the papers

and when I pull out the lighta

put the flame to the blunt cha

better drop that beat

if ya know what's good for ya

Sakul speaking for SOTA

and I'm scratching nothing to nil

but the paint off the walls

and the booze out the bottles

the rainbow fucking waddles

when it's witness to my shades

slowly fades but still it remains

in the wake of me on behalf of all SOTA

cuz I'm like the reflection of light off of rain

just a hella lot brighta

FALLOUT

Everyone is dead,

save you.

But be careful,

you could still

get shot in the head.

TOPHAT

Satisfied by the sax / rafters collapse / lavish snacks / laps that snap / paths tattooed like this one man army tracks his prey / engage the zombies crack open the bodies let whatever come that may / apocalypti present intrinsically / I seethe like what with a rutten bawdy attitude / slot spattered gilded faceplate wheezed distressingly in a different light / this time she burns vertically across them lines of latitude / gratitude reigns as servitude slain to circumvent not mine but our better view / vanquished bitter vantage point advantage to the prior skewed / knowledged now catalyst as I'm made of all kinds of shit / infinite percentages like all the world's cures can't hack my prime directive / this maker spoke the seed of life into being planted / this master choked on the atom to bring forth Eve and her Adam / now imagine what I'll birth when I put intention behind this spit / aim the barrel at the heart of myself and the universe and let that shit go 'click'...

We are as we make ourselves.

And with his pen writes the red rose

into and through it's own seed and sense.

Spattered spectacularly

under bassment blast

and graff artist flash

those DJ's ain't got nothing on him.

And with his pen writes the rose into bloom

at will the red'll drain away

black ink burst them old petals into blue

stacked pages smoldering

to the wind of a NEW DAY.

Sept. 9th '10

In the morning basement dark light i pull back my sheets, and surprise, surprise I'm naked. sometimes i take a strength from this as it reminds me that i am that i am and to wear myself proudly. sometimes i take a come on from this and need to come on myself before i leave bed to shower shave shit and piss. and sometimes, sometimes when i dream of, her, it takes a moment to assure myself that im not still dreaming because thats how real she still is in my subconscious. and quite honestly, lately, when i realize that im not still dreaming. i just feel relieved, because there is a big difference between what the dreams of her used to be like and how the dreams of her now, just pierce my heart like a spike. not even a spike because there being a spike implies that something foreign has taken place inside me. if there ever was a spike it resided in the beautiful dreams i used to have about her where i would wake in the morning with a warming glow inside like a horseshoe still in the fire before the blacksmith removes it to shape the steel into something any equus would be proud to wear. but now when i dream of her, there is no spike, no horseshoe, no fire, no foreign anything. now when i dream of her, upon my waking my heart slowly transfigures from a beating organ into a beaten empty furnace left behind by the blacksmith when he packed up shop and left to move on in search of more fertile soils and more lucrative and populated villages.

when i used to dream of her the skies were made of fire and she walked through the ruins of scorched cities, alone, strong and eyes sharp. she would walk to the highest point she could find, be it the blown wide upper floors of downtown office buildings or a grassy cliff jutting from sloping hillsides. she would look out from these points scanning the horizons, and wait til a large grey wolf found its way to her. when the wolf found her his ears would perk his tongue would hang out and he would pant happily. she would kneel down hold the sides of the wolf's head and under a sky of fire we would look into each other's eyes forever.

now, my dreams of her are crowded scattered schizophrenic apparitions full of strangers who hollar with no cause. she is always distracted by the presence of others or never notices that i'm even there though we are always within arms reach of one another, we never make eye contact and we never touch.

when i have waking thoughts of her they are always of hope, understanding, and love.

when i day dream of her she is simply a silhouette in the distance walking towards me. even when we get close enough to see each other's faces clearly we do not pick up pace we simply smile as the space between us lessens. at arms reach we both stop walking. she reaches out to hold my arms or maybe my shoulders. i reach out for her waist or to graze her chin with the back of my index finger as if i almost dont even believe shes standing right in front of me. we embrace and she tells me she loves me. i reply with three words each said twice " and i you...and i you."

whenever i dream of her, day dream of her, or simply think of her throughout the day they are always abstract shapes of hope, understanding and love that I engage and hold for only a moment before I close my eyes, take a breath, and just, let, go.

Sept. 5th '10

my specks slide down as I move with my nose

smell strength since my grin become your driver

and I know what's underneath of your clothes

automobiles of a more analog nature

but our tattoos absorb all of that ancient mist

and my hard kisses will never get through

my inked up fists are wet but don't slip

girl in your dark you know I'm onto something new

so sly cat your way underneath of my cap

twist tail and the raise of your hair

bareback but you still don't see me

blended in with the tattoos I wear...

love emptiness so tangible

Now I been through a whole lot of shit over the last few years

a lot more than ya know about and sure as hell a lot more than ya'd care to hear

I've fucked my fears and drained my tears / found so much strength in myself and peers

so much so that in these words / I let down my guard so that I can hurt

and squeeze out every little drop of pain / so that when I walk out that door

I can just be the me that I wanna be / cuz the demons are at home under rose and key

now I ain't saying that I cover shit up / but when it comes to the outside world

there's enough garbage to drown us all / so when we talk I will just say love

and sure I'd like to live for infinity / but truth be told I'm ready to die today

and I kinda figure that's the best way to be / cuz I don't know when my time will come

so I'ma live like I am immortal and I'ma live like I'm already done

I'ma write these words like they'll be legends and like they never existed

and thusly they will never be sung / and I am not / where I'm from

I am not the hate I hung / I am not the bell I rung / I am not here and I was never gone

and I don't know about these words / about my heart or about my soul

but I'm proud to stand and say out loud the only thing I really know

is that I ain't faking myself when I say I know that I just don't know

I don't know / I don't know / I don't know / I just love us so

and I am nothing just like you / can you think of anything more beautiful?

Harsh Tokes

So here's what I'ma do

shave off half of my pubes

freeze my sack in an ice cube

dip my dick in paint

carve my own name

into the back of my taint

cuz I've been / hotdog in hallway

dead dog / drooling to their game

ain't no bitches gonna see me swing

stinger any where near their frame

cuz in the aftermath of my past exploits

they whisper to me and tell me things

like that most ya'll cunts are cunts

harlots and liars and sluts

dirty kids sticky hands

rooting through the garbage

maybe you'll find some lunch

now I know we all animals

but still a mutt's a mutt

you just doing what's natural

part of the human experience

but I think they're just trying to

take their whole and divy it up

well now rouge means red

and red means rough

of case in point of that of a stiff lay

of that of a hard fuck

now how many headboard

francais shades'll be enough

are ya trying to fill that hole

like it a wound or a cut

like it's your esophagus

and it needs to get stee/retched

more often than not

otherwise it gonna close right up

and then your 'O' face

it ain't gonna breathe no more

and I ain't one to hold 'em back

so resuscitate yourself into the sore

ya feeling better ya feeling connected

if ya feeling the empty love

love I guess at least ya feeling more

along the rungs of the ladder are harsh tokes

lung butter can't see the chamber for the hot smoke

wobbling in front of them lass and blokes

but when the glass blows you just got you and no where to go

so just cover your own you better know where to go

so slide back back right onto your back

sliver your eyelids and feel with your hands

oops oops what happened to the pants

whoops what happened to the man

she think he gotta hold of the wrong crack

she begging give me some slack jack

she think she want the weight of this fat stack

way on the other side of the train tracks

but too late for that

that hands handing out smack slap

soft part of the eyes going all blue black

sudden surprise realizing disguise

invasion of a public temple

you should'a privatized

now see the pried apart

parts of your cathedral

all of the raining all the pain

the windows breaking the rubble

the fires the scuttle the double

mattress just so massive

with no one to cuddle

contrast between 5 minutes pior

now you cry into your pillow

if you were a dove you'd fly

right into the sky from the sill of your window

but they cut off your wings and it's too hard to sing

when you're face down drowning in a puddle

of your own tears / its gonna be alright dear

no need to fear cuz yes you will last

just put your foot on the gas and steer steer steer

along the rungs of the ladder are harsh tokes

lung butter can't see the chamber for the hot smoke

wobbling in front of them lass and blokes

but when the glass blows you just got you and no where to go

so just cover your own you better know where to go

now I ain't gonna masochist

the shit out of my dick

like I said I would in the first verse

just trying to make a point

about self love and self hurt

and I ain't saying I 'm frigid

just saying that if you wanna get with this

you gonna have to do a wee more

than display just a little bit of interest

cuz this body of mine is a place of worship

and when you come to my gates

are you just looking for good times

or a real place to stay / either way

I'ma demand that you prove that you're worth it

just like to you I'ma prove my worth and

all of the work and the sweat and the dirt

it'll pay just you and me we'll play on the day

when we have both gained entry

into the temples of one another

girl when that day comes

we will worship so beautifully

it was worth the wait universally

I swear this could be fucking infinity

victory / just you and me

we'll worship each other just so beautifully

it's you and me

along the rungs of the ladder are harsh tokes

lung butter can't see the chamber for the hot smoke

wobbling in front of them lass and blokes

but when the glass blows you just got you and no where to go

so just cover your own you better know where to go