REPLENiSH

The bass stance streams symbiotic
like the mind interprets sounds
in movement akin to phonetics
all around the world
our vocab is vernacular
manifesting monoliths
with every dub breath
breathes flame thrower steps
like I'm fire on the inside
oxygenated on the regular
grin wide grim wise
I got the grimoire packed with good intention

convex direction 'til it's something sly and circular
a thousand cycling spells of suspension

to mislead the grime lies into new times

they move in many ways any ways

my mind bouncing it strays

like any and everything plays every day

man I wish I could stay but when I lay

my body pulls me in every way but linear

my steps in trance

the cleft clef leaves me deaf
if you bleed me fresh
I'll blend right into the piss

never to be missed

cuz in death I never left

my prospective just shifts

my vision only lifts

my provision never sits

still for too long

singing the same song

repetition along with faith

it can only ferment

and so I spit it one more time

yes I spit it again

my honesty is eternal

perpetually replenished

coalescence in the afterglow

after death I'm never finished

flowing on tomorrow

whispering winds say I'm blessed

I don't acknowledge and I don't question

keep my head up even in sacred sorrow

live as if every moment is my first

I don't thirst the universe keeps me wet

my bed head my method fermented

replenished one more time spit it

REPLENISHED there I said it

The cold and the rain and the spirit within (a long story told shortly)

I left the house on account of the serious hankering I had for some of lil ceasars coveted "hot'n'ready" fi'dolla' 'za. The contrast between the black and the white of the clouds split the sky down the middle and though it wasn't raining, you could tell that it was gonna. Sure enough as I exited the fine establishment the drops began to dot the concrete still warm enough to appear to absorb the water specks as they made final contact. The rain quickly becoming denser as it fell I took refuge in the closest bus shelter where I, myself, would absorb the doughy concoction, not knowing the extraordinary exchange between myself and the universe that was about to unfold in the most ordinary of ways.

So there I sat, alone in the bus stop, listening to the rain machine gun loudly against the roof. Pizza on my lap, cheese dip aside, cola in one hand, cigarette in the other (eating while I smoke, yes, as if to celebrate the wonder of a stoner I apparently still am, even when I'm not stoned). As it began to rain I began to speak out loud with god. Asking him if this was just gonna be a little sprinkle, or if he was gonna step up and show me some shit. (I think only Quest would know this from our tree planting experience but I have a tendency to taunt god when the elements flash a chaotic sliver of face) Thunder began to clap and this drove my taunting to new heights as I leaned out of the bus shelter to holler things like "is that all ya got god? I know you can do better than this! I am not convinced til you tear that tree out of the fucking ground!!!"

Naturally, the more I taunted the more god spoke til the falling rain had crescendoed into a torrential downpour. I laughed and ate and smoked and watched as jacketless folk ran for cover from the thunder and lightning and as SUVs drove through massive puddles that sat atop of clogged storm drains along the edges of busy intersections. I recall at one point saying "well dude youre not tearing the trees out but this is fucking impressive." "well done." I called as I applauded appropriately.

As I polished off the pizza and had had a smoke and sat there for a while just being amazed it didnt seem as if god had planned on letting me out of the bus shelter without having to walk through his miracle of a downpour (of course not, why would he after the verbal jostling I had just served).

After some time, and a million little happenings (all of which too slight to even iterate) had passed I decided that I would smoke one more cigarette before I stripped down to just my pants and shoes and walked home through the storm half naked. If god wasnt going to let up with the torrent I was going to bare it as sky clad as possible just for the chance of feeling him pour against my naked skin. I finished the smoke pulled off my toque my glasses my hoodie and my tshirt, packed my bag and stepped out from the bus shelter into the blasting winds of his creation, or so I thought.

The very instant I left my shelter, the rain went from downpour to hardly a drizzle in less than a second. It was if in that very moment I looked up into the black sky , god looked down on me, and we both smiled and nodded in time with one another, knowing. A sense of balance and understanding. I was so ready, not only ready but wanting of whatever god felt like pitting against me. For in all of my experiences I know that I am never given more than I am capable of handling. Therefore, I fear nothing. Nothing.

I walked home shirtless and glad that I was for as I did the sun ripped a clean hole through the blackness to warm my body gently, though so prepared to endure the cold shower simply to feel the power of god against my skin. The cold, and the rain, and the spirit within.

June 21st '10

The ants cover this city

why do they all drive so slowly?
well they all have shadows
but here it is just me
it's just me
with one
blooming explosion
I can taste this spiraling blade
and I will cut me
and cut her
and cut him
and cut you
that's eight legs
less than what we deserve
in the short noon
tuning engines reserve
start again
but I am all ready there
silhouette dissing appear
finally clear because here
it is just me it's just me with one...

June 19th '10

Unicycles riding on saw blades
boarded ferries in the wrong direction
carving a rouge gap in the ocean
lifting the earth from under my feet
to build paths that we don't call streets
cesarean sections carried out with a spade
chiseled from oak / mistakes / I don't make
the knotted hair down my back
the sweat like steam
the smoke is my stack
jacked hookah smiles to dysentery
promenade bass awaits crates
crack down the side
plucked out my eyes
and slice and separate a million different ways
///disintegrate\\\
today I choose to ignore all signs

June 18th '10

three strong smokes
and a cup of 'kaf
fuck the food I'm ready to go

here the beauty is gone
so we make it ourselves
in the shade of the moon
'cause we killed the sun off

time spent stitching a patch for you
fried senses ditched while
itching at the stitches for nil

the grime and the cuts
and the slime and the sluts
ain't nothing I want but I fill my glass up
'cause the dead on the rough
draped across apex the roof
in the blood of the basement
I'm tracking footprints all through
'til the shag and slates
the elders and babies in wait
they all look the same
we're all dead anyway

it's a different kind of light
I'm a fragment to fight
distance is the trouble
but I'm fucking alright
and the bowls here don't bubble
they just burn to the screen
the fires blacken my nostrils
I know you don't know what I mean

it's a different kind of light
I'm a fragment to fight
a sliver glowing silver
a bullet delivered
my bones broke off kilter
but I'm fucking alright

June 17th '10

If ever there was a time for us...
my hands crush keyboard
heavy enough by now with the weight of you gone
my arms chain link snap outwards against that which would do you wrong
we were insects
conscripts rubbing our legs together in the tallest rain bent grasses
you in the clear cut and hotel / no tent
me in the basement / spit chimes
bridge piercing pulled out by the hood vent
endless gaze intent / time held / never spent
double wide bed / on one side i slept
the other empty where you'll never lay
never play / never twist jays / there you'll never sit
but still I leave the space for on every night when I come to bed
drained or strung out or drunk or just a peacefulness in my head
I feel the apparition of the compilation of every second of love that we created smoldering beside me and that rogue ghost of yours (I can only imagine leaves you every night knowing) warms my back or chest or whatever part of me crests the center divide as I slip into sleep to be reborn the next day to see that I all ways have everything in front of me / hun there is no need to find
every day a NEW WORLD awaits without a single ounce of fear to take
so on the days here that it rains (which lately is most days)
I go into the back yard lay down in the uncut grass and dandelions and let the pouring soak me
hands filled with wet dirt I close my eyes and hum in time with the chirping song of when we were just insects rubbing our legs together in discovery of the majesty of the harmony we couldn't believe creatures as small as we could create / for it still echoes as strongly as a thunder storm cascading between mountain peaks...
if ever there was a time for us...

June 12th '10

The last week of rain and overcast had subsided and a hot newness bore down into the basement pulling me to wake. i put aside the the mars volta, aesop rock and other albums I'm akin to when the sky sings in a more down tempo rhythm and slid deftones - white pony into the discman, which after being packed away for 5 years still works perfectly. white pony was always good sunshine music when i was 17. i am now at least as old as those musicians were when they released the album. skating down the street listening to 'back to school' thinking about what a massive inspiration these tracks were then. i smiled kept my head up and pushed hard as it came to me that even though i still love the music the deftones still release that space for inspiration has been replaced with someone else, myself.

May 31th '10

Chin up ambition heavy as cancer
I spit luck graceful as disaster
organized as a handgun
I explode out where I'm from
shatter the full length mirror
into a thousand renegade tears
and whats left? just the master
track plays in my head like ba dum dum dum

I'll shout the words out right now
and leave the beats to my body
only after I have turned cadaver
and all of the mountains have melt to snow
and all the voices blend to a single laughter
and no one will ever come to my shows
but still I present like go go go

I choreographed this movement myself
so fuck the crowds and fuck the actors
i hang under a single spot light
for an audience of me the only dancer
and yea maybe the tapes will just sit on the shelf
but at least I know the places I've gone
and what a heavy progression song
sounds like every time I truly delve delve delve