June 19th '10

Unicycles riding on saw blades
boarded ferries in the wrong direction
carving a rouge gap in the ocean
lifting the earth from under my feet
to build paths that we don't call streets
cesarean sections carried out with a spade
chiseled from oak / mistakes / I don't make
the knotted hair down my back
the sweat like steam
the smoke is my stack
jacked hookah smiles to dysentery
promenade bass awaits crates
crack down the side
plucked out my eyes
and slice and separate a million different ways
///disintegrate\\\
today I choose to ignore all signs

June 18th '10

three strong smokes
and a cup of 'kaf
fuck the food I'm ready to go

here the beauty is gone
so we make it ourselves
in the shade of the moon
'cause we killed the sun off

time spent stitching a patch for you
fried senses ditched while
itching at the stitches for nil

the grime and the cuts
and the slime and the sluts
ain't nothing I want but I fill my glass up
'cause the dead on the rough
draped across apex the roof
in the blood of the basement
I'm tracking footprints all through
'til the shag and slates
the elders and babies in wait
they all look the same
we're all dead anyway

it's a different kind of light
I'm a fragment to fight
distance is the trouble
but I'm fucking alright
and the bowls here don't bubble
they just burn to the screen
the fires blacken my nostrils
I know you don't know what I mean

it's a different kind of light
I'm a fragment to fight
a sliver glowing silver
a bullet delivered
my bones broke off kilter
but I'm fucking alright

June 17th '10

If ever there was a time for us...
my hands crush keyboard
heavy enough by now with the weight of you gone
my arms chain link snap outwards against that which would do you wrong
we were insects
conscripts rubbing our legs together in the tallest rain bent grasses
you in the clear cut and hotel / no tent
me in the basement / spit chimes
bridge piercing pulled out by the hood vent
endless gaze intent / time held / never spent
double wide bed / on one side i slept
the other empty where you'll never lay
never play / never twist jays / there you'll never sit
but still I leave the space for on every night when I come to bed
drained or strung out or drunk or just a peacefulness in my head
I feel the apparition of the compilation of every second of love that we created smoldering beside me and that rogue ghost of yours (I can only imagine leaves you every night knowing) warms my back or chest or whatever part of me crests the center divide as I slip into sleep to be reborn the next day to see that I all ways have everything in front of me / hun there is no need to find
every day a NEW WORLD awaits without a single ounce of fear to take
so on the days here that it rains (which lately is most days)
I go into the back yard lay down in the uncut grass and dandelions and let the pouring soak me
hands filled with wet dirt I close my eyes and hum in time with the chirping song of when we were just insects rubbing our legs together in discovery of the majesty of the harmony we couldn't believe creatures as small as we could create / for it still echoes as strongly as a thunder storm cascading between mountain peaks...
if ever there was a time for us...

June 12th '10

The last week of rain and overcast had subsided and a hot newness bore down into the basement pulling me to wake. i put aside the the mars volta, aesop rock and other albums I'm akin to when the sky sings in a more down tempo rhythm and slid deftones - white pony into the discman, which after being packed away for 5 years still works perfectly. white pony was always good sunshine music when i was 17. i am now at least as old as those musicians were when they released the album. skating down the street listening to 'back to school' thinking about what a massive inspiration these tracks were then. i smiled kept my head up and pushed hard as it came to me that even though i still love the music the deftones still release that space for inspiration has been replaced with someone else, myself.

May 31th '10

Chin up ambition heavy as cancer
I spit luck graceful as disaster
organized as a handgun
I explode out where I'm from
shatter the full length mirror
into a thousand renegade tears
and whats left? just the master
track plays in my head like ba dum dum dum

I'll shout the words out right now
and leave the beats to my body
only after I have turned cadaver
and all of the mountains have melt to snow
and all the voices blend to a single laughter
and no one will ever come to my shows
but still I present like go go go

I choreographed this movement myself
so fuck the crowds and fuck the actors
i hang under a single spot light
for an audience of me the only dancer
and yea maybe the tapes will just sit on the shelf
but at least I know the places I've gone
and what a heavy progression song
sounds like every time I truly delve delve delve