Impact

A slack jawed symbiote of sorts
anxiety is a residual condition / overlooked
as it is often construed as the silence
between the valleys and peaks of
a heartbeat monitors beeps / and
the tight frowns stifled into the space
between cross walks blank stares
the weeping wall is so soft it absorbs
all traces of sound and nothing can be heard

tears permeate permanently into cheeks like tattoos
congestion I have accepted I'm never going to lose
people die all the time so where is the body
where is the snow drift / where is the snare
how not knot tightened enough are my hands
where are the claws my father taught me
when is my theifdom become my kingdom
where is the trap door / where is my noose
where are the lions / the mouth of the Jordon river
give me an ice skate blade and a deep rotted tooth
nothing but disappointment of the self as I separate the
leather cords / disassemble the steel / place down the tools

I hear rumors that the poison is airborne
thick / and black
that crevices and slip stream drafts exist
but ain't none of us one can see
it only comes to surface on the darkest of nights
(if it escapes the cities distances
it'll travel fastest on the old rail way tracks)
so give me my gas mask
give me oil and a fist full of dynamite
let's fuck for the fuck of it just one more fucking time
show me unkempt beds in forgotten hospitals
and I'll show you meditation well spent
the first sucking ounce of what's in me is virile
the last IV drip dons good riddance

all in good time
sometimes I wish I knew how to hate
sometimes I wish I knew how to die / for the moment
sometimes I wish I was never responsible to begin with
sometimes I wish I truly knew how to own a woman's onus

Tarot.

wrote this a few years ago and found it necessary to post it here.

I will burn like god
and never ask for forgiveness
I will depend entirely on myself
and never bother with penance
when I go out it will happen
*     *
in a matter of seconds
and when they sweep up my body
my mother will thank god that I am in heaven
and never know I never asked for forgiveness

at my funeral my friends
will all wish that they had a stiff drink
they'll pass out blue roses
bow their heads in silence
and say nothing.

Koli Pose

Too many cigarettes while all along never enough omskees / Jesus Christ what'll happen to the righteous might when the strong leaves / what ever happened to the tattoos? scrape the grill so I can get a fill on some of that burnt cheese / gel caps preferred / the pressed pills ya know I won't do / maintain variants in the mood / hold those sheets straight please / breeze off the bend in the bees knees / cause when the streets bleed / I see only thin bones among long sleeves / sprocket grease doc marten's pockets / misunderstood so we understand how to mock drop these / midi keys / sung seeds for trees / extract introduce interact liquid LSD / into the sockets of the botched rockets blasted four fold for thee / keep the lips loose / ass tight as industries cuz inside this peace / I keep my glock assembled and stocked free of the trembles hammer cocked on my piece / the chrome gleams in time with the blood on the screen / so much so that you can't see / thems the breaks that I deemed deace / residual quality you know me / and the product I sling sights gonna cost ya so the blindfolds are free / before the trail goes cold / before the water goes deep / don't go still as green tea / grenades that don't sleep / just bide their time under assumptions and alibis / a learning curve steep rolls of the tongue like soft meat off the mind's eye / unlearn instigate identify / engage strengthen exhume confide / say baby at least I got one thing right / I got nobody on my side and surely that ain't right / decide if that's your style / if the hues are too lewd construed notions butterflying planet earth's mysteries and curses / under the surface of the ocean's currents / what's all this commotion spread like wildfire / razor sharp lotion sped spike mild flower how many soils can sour when in the case of an hour moons full you know devours / leaving nothing but a crows aching skeleton in the reflection of the pavement / empty spaces where windows once took refuge in the top halves of towers / glass trap doors under the foundation of the basement / tremulants bred these plowers subservient but only when well meant / harvest the cream from the solvent / harvest the true drool icicling from dropped jaws encapsulated still mobile / trawling the deep blue like icebergs / determined to melt off isolation remains only a slip in the stacked clip a chip of a percentile / blown gaskets and castle roof tiles / merlin not noticed minor cracked rackets or crimped hinges / faults in positions the bending of what's with us / spells subjugated upon our enemies blown to cigarette ash over time eroded in a likeness to the cancer face of their children / there are no grimacing cringes / only blind eyes like medusa cries no silver shields helmets pulled back too high to hide / if this is the way I'm gonna go I'll be a feast of a meal / a riot ravenous too staccato for corruption to conceal us / no walls can contain us / dropping feet in the tides fine sand solid coordination hammered as fork tines as koli stance / lancing lattices like lemurs and rabbits / we can take this assault and grace it / folded steel splits where thick fog spit light shines convinced / nine lives folded themselves like steam / not a single cry
just a rush of the wall of sound /
linger weightless before the ground / calm before the storm /
a faint crook in the trees /
a soldier on his knees /
nothing left but these here three /
a single samurai survives /
civilizations are born of a mind that can thrive

Beauty Antique

Born under eternal armageddon
I am where from fights are won
that's right / where the nights
are bright as kites as they are long
where from under the mother's raining sun
where I'm from has not been done
unlike any crystal stone or rock
my earth remains ever steadyin'
a levy readyin' all bets are on
a none triage I scorn / portage
details my location / sabotage
in the circumstance of my waking dream
my realities bedded courtesan tales
substantiate my blazing corsage
alleviate my facade caching stock
ready aim sock an animal's rashing barrage
slashing newer lands nor morgue lodge
vantages hashings sinners strings / carcasses
singeing brandished and ringing damages
that shit ain't the blunts I blaze
gimme trees bare / no stems no leaves
the stones I won't do / I'm talkin' smokin'
heavy as buddha in the monkey trees
hands on branches latches stacked
from limbs to thick leaves forming hatches
where a single sharp ray of sunlight catches
your shadow like bullet holes and matches
deep end coves cover full tobacco pouches
black then second white slight as a milado
glancing sideways invisible hunckbacked slouches
comfortable as couches
I inhabit at dawn in the chesterfields
laid back as a sauna
time appreciated as a yawn above the mindfields
days spent with molten metal forging stain glass
shapes to collapse into forms of a madonna
my daughter / whats offered / a betterment
every cycle a purer extract / sentience of what's
natural / substantial / organic and mystically proper
mandalas lining the fine wines
coating our spines and virtuoso coffers
more than enough to cover law suits
the cost of fine linens adorning your torso
you're worthy of the expenditure
words cannot describe how soulviant / how so more so
we can learn to live off off our humble hands bravado
gives us knowledge on the regs energies like americanos
never sleeping lest we miss the am oasis / can't test this grace
stay the mace off the purple space the visible ripples trace
auras tangible enough they appear as edible panties laces
of a painted corset / women's beautiful faces I could never forget
a dripping song we can taste / schooning as my lips
lisp bouncing sounds cool breeze upon your nape
the shimmy of sitars / trounce of the bass
reverberates 'til there is nothing left / 'til we are erased
and the sound is all that is left
that is where I am
residence in the bass and in the treble clef
vertebrae knees bent minds eye open occulant
not a single word cuz my state is bliss
dropping pads transient / ya get my jist
swam in oceans of the sound and of sweat
confess undeserving and blessed
blasting soul dance / never unrest
I don't need to speak / I don't need to stress
when the move is on
we don't exist

Crocodiles

I had a cat tails slink for turn tables / home brew jamming with you the dope pro on the dobro and a nose hankering for hashish stew ya know / just kicking the shit like we know how to do
but then
I walked in the door
and to my chameleon chagrin stood shoulders turned in a single eye protruded mouth cracked and drooling for where I had before seen beer bottles paint markers and strewn clothing reminiscent of parties gone by and clairvoyant of art to come I now found only desolation / you at the counter with flour on your hands and pasta sauce on your feet from when the jar shattered on the floor as you turned startled by my entrance that slit the sucking silence I felt a breeze of depression rushing over my skin as I said ola and removed my shoes trying vainly not to notice that though it wasn't that bad the house seemed filthier than it ever had before / the same wine bottles wall hangings cardboard canvases and cold chamomiles coated with a grim cringing grime I swear I could see the sheen of sickness on everything / I stood in the middle of the kitchen thinking about any place else I could go / anywhere besides here / besides my home / I would sit and read but I didn't want the shit from the walls and pages getting on me / I would stand blast the speakers and spin but I feared the sound would disgrace the present disgust of silence that the music that moves would not be welcomed in / so I sat on edge of the ledge and smiled / tried to give you the love I could without falling face down in the current of the Nile
under extreme circumstances crocodiles are not picky eaters
and will pick a rotting corpse clean
no movement is necessary to draw their attention
you were a walking coma drowning in the
poltergeist you didn't know how to tell to leave
it was just you and me and a room full of ghosts
frustration and loneliness / an atmosphere that grieves
drawing away emotions in walls that hollered
"you don't know!" / humidity and the harbinger
it's one hundred degrees in here but there might as well be snow
unconscious tongues mouthing lip service ventriloquism
intent on voices drawing communication away
from the very thing that made us feel the most